


Softly

by starryeyedboxes



Category: Septiplier - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-21
Updated: 2017-09-21
Packaged: 2019-01-03 19:33:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12153375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starryeyedboxes/pseuds/starryeyedboxes
Summary: Jack is trying to recover from a hard breakup.





	1. Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, everyone! I’m not sure how this will be received, I just wrote little snippets over the course of a couple days and they ended up compiling together so I bring you this!

Things had been difficult, lately.

Jack stared blankly at the ceiling, his eyes puffy and tired. His throat burned, the feeling so familiar to him the last week or so. He couldn't even remember how long he had been awake for. Time just seemed to blur together.

Nonetheless, Jack took in a deep breath. His room was pitch dark. The curtains were drawn, all lights turned off, not a single hint of light glowing in that room. He tossed and turned. It didn't help.

He tried to lull himself back to sleep by counting numbers to exercise his exhausted mind, but it didn't work as he clutched the bedsheets between his aching fingers. No matter what he tried, he couldn't seem to fall back asleep. Maybe he would have to call out of work again tomorrow-- he had already missed the last two days because he felt so awful in the morning and couldn't find any sort of energy to pull himself out of bed. He wouldn't be lying if he said he didn't want to go back to work anyway.

Mentally reminiscing on the tactics he already tried to help him fall back asleep (warm milk, soft music, just laying there with his eyes closed), he was at a loss as to what else he could do. Sleep was something his body craved so badly but his mind couldn't grasp the concept of. 

Yeah. It was definitely still difficult.

Morning finally came. Jack could tell because the sun was trying to creep into his room but every crack and opening had been covered up. 

Jack squinted at his closed curtains, his eyes heavy. He couldn't tell if he had actually slept at all. Sitting in the dark for so long ruined his perception of whether or not he was even asleep last night. Was it sleep? Or just darkness? 

He couldn't tell no matter how hard he thought about it.

He rolled the other way and found himself trying to get out of bed. His bones ached to the very core while his joints stiffened as he tried to stand up. It took him a brief moment to even prepare himself, but he was finally up and about his apartment.

The sun was barely rising in the sky when he stepped out of his front door, a scarf wrapped around him as he warmed his hands in his coat pockets. It seemed to have snowed overnight. It was comforting. 

Seeing the white blanket of snow was such a sharp contrast to his dark room last night, even though it was only a light layer of powder. He was glad to see some type of light. It was even more beautiful that it was the natural sunlight outside.

His boots carried him down the sidewalk, slightly crunching as he walked past. It seemed that everybody had already left for work as most of his neighborhood was empty. Jack still wasn't sure of the time.

He found himself in town, however. He didn't particularly have a destination in mind yet he somehow found himself here. A lot of stores weren't open yet, most of the shops opening around eleven in the morning. Jack knew that it had to have been before ten at least then-- it wasn't like he had honestly been keeping track of anything.

Jack surprised himself when he felt a smile on his lips. It was so serene being outside and just out of the house, he couldn't help but smile. 

He walked to the park and tried to find a bench that wasn't covered in a thin layer of ice. It was taking him a bit to find one, but Jack was still enjoying his quick stroll through the frosty morning. The ice and snow had started to melt, his boots sloshing around in the ice and water mixture, but his breath was still forming clouds as he watched it swirl in the air before him.

This was something so small. The light snowfall they had last night, the sun still shining through, the stroll in the park, his breath forming clouds in front of him. They were the small things, and in this moment, they gave Jack the biggest sense of happiness. It had been so long since he felt warm about anything. It made him happy that he was still able to find joy in the things around him when he had been struggling to find just that in the last couple of weeks.

Jack took a breath of crisp air in but caught it in his throat when he glanced at a figure and two dogs walking towards him. His heart swelled with sorrow. 

Felix. 

It took him a moment to even realize Felix was walking with someone. A beautiful young woman was bundled up in her own snow clothes as they laughed about something Jack couldn’t hear. 

Before Jack could run, Felix met his gaze and gave a sloppy smile and a friendly wave. The beautiful girl beside him politely smiled in Jack’s direction, oblivious to everything Jack was feeling inside.

But it dawned on him when their eyes locked. This had to have been Marzia. The young woman Felix left him for--

Felix was calling his name. He could faintly hear it. 

But Jack didn’t stick around for long.

He had turned on his heel and ran off as quickly as his feet would allow. It was even hard running through the light snow. Jack tripped, rebalanced before hitting the floor, and still continued to flee. He wasn't sure what else to do.

By the time noon had come around, Jack rolled over in his bed, exhausted. He let out a shaky breath, his mouth dry from all of the sobbing. He cursed himself for going outside today. 

Jack pulled the covers over his head and it wasn't long before he began crying in the darkness of his room once more.

Why did it have to be so difficult?


	2. Rise

Everything had been getting better lately.

Mornings were easier. It felt like each passing day got a little brighter. 

This morning, Jack found himself sitting at the town’s local music store. He had picked up the drums again and had returned today to check on his order. He had to replace one of his cymbals that he cracked and had been admittedly been impatiently waiting for its arrival at the shop.

Jack had become familiar with the shop employee there. It was an incredibly handsome young man whose voice was just as beautiful as his deep brown eyes. They were on a first-name basis instead of “sir” and while Jack was a drummer, the employee was a guitarist. 

Jack smiled when Mark walked in, the enthusiastic cashier. Luckily, the new cymbal had arrived and Jack was more than eager to take it home. He promised Mark not to be so violent with it this time so he wouldn't have to fork out more money, and Mark made a side comment that Jack still had to come visit him from time to time since he no longer had a reason to visit the shop every single day. 

Jack’s heart felt warm when he heard such a comment, but he honestly didn't know what to make of it. He was just happy he had some familiar company to visit whenever he needed. It had been quite lonely for so long. Maybe he would come visit every now and then.

Mark asked him if he'd like to check out any of the beginner guitars in the right side section of the store. Jack always laughed-- Mark had been trying to persuade him to pick up guitar but Jack said he would always be a drummer at heart. Guitar strings wouldn't always be able to contain his growing energy some days. Banging on some good ol’ drums was good enough for him.

Jack smiled politely and waved his hand. Maybe some other time. For now, he just wanted to race home, replace his cymbal, and create some new music. He had been waiting for so long for the cymbal to come in. 

Mark waved goodbye as Jack thanked him and exited the store. 

Jack was finding himself once more.

He was learning how to be happy again.


	3. Dip

He thought things had been getting better.

Jack’s eyes were blinking rapidly. He was trying to fumble for the words he needed to say, but nothing was coming out. He felt a heavy weight on his chest as the thoughts of Mark asking him on a date swirled around in his head.

Mark had to repeat his question due to Jack’s confusion. 

Jack didn't know how to react. He hadn't really been on a date since… Felix. They had been together for over 6 years and Jack honestly didn't know how to date. Being with someone for that long made the single life a lot harder to navigate. How does one even date?

Mark laughed at Jack’s reddened cheeks and politely reminded him that it was completely fine if Jack wanted to decline his offer. He didn't have to feel obligated to go on a date with him after all.

But Jack didn't know what to say. He had come in today to pick up new drumsticks since he’s gone through them so quickly lately, and Mark sprung this question on him while he was paying for his items. Jack even noticed Mark threw in a little discount probably to butter him up a bit.

He felt himself chuckle slightly at that. 

However, he still was unsure on what to say. It had been so long… Was he even ready to get back in the dating world? Mark was great and all, but he didn't really feel like he knew the guy… But is that not the whole point of dating? To get to know someone?

It had been too silent for too long and Mark quickly apologized if he had been too forward or if Jack perhaps was not attracted to men in the first place. Some more time passed as Jack mulled his hectic thoughts. 

It was obviously getting awkward between them, more so from Mark’s side. Jack had been quiet this whole time. 

But finally, Jack opened his mouth to speak. 

Mark’s laughter quickly rung through the air. Jack’s cheeks reddened again but this time out of embarrassment. Jack had told Mark that he didn't really know how to date and was trying to figure out how in the moments that he was silent. Mark’s laughter was not the response he had expected and it made him quite nervous, but when Mark told him that it was okay, all Jack had to do was show up and have fun, he felt a part of him relax. 

A date?

He asked Mark why he had wanted to ask him on a date.

Mark simply responded saying that Jack had a particular charm to him that wouldn’t let Mark stop thinking about him every time he came to work. He had been trying to muster up the courage the last couple of days to do it but Jack had only come in today, not the other days he had been preparing to ask.

Jack’s heart was beating hard. But he was so scared. This would be his first date in so long and he wasn't sure how to feel about it. He was actually quite nervous.

But he nodded his head, accepted Mark’s invitation to watch a concert a few towns over, and exchanged phone numbers.

By the time Jack got home, he realized he had been holding the slip of paper with Mark’s phone number on it so tightly that it had wrinkled up into a ball. He unfurled it, placed it on the table, and sighed. 

Jack still wasn't sure how to feel about this. It just felt like he was finally doing better and raising himself up from his slump, but now he was going on dates?

But it was just a single date. Maybe that's all it had to be. One date with the cute music store employee. It wasn't with a complete stranger at least, but Jack decided he had been over complicating things. 

It was just one date. That's not too scary. Maybe things could get better.


	4. Plateau

Things were so much better.

Jack’s calloused hands placed the drumsticks on the nightstand beside him. He felt the toughness of his skin and smiled at the hard work he had been putting into his music lately. It had been a good while since he had started drumming again and his calloused fingers gave him a sort of trophy— something to remind him how many hours he held those drumsticks for. 

It made him feel accomplished. 

As he opened the door and made his way to his bedroom, he took a sharp breath before stepping in. But his bed was empty much to his surprise. He searched the room awkwardly, unsure as to where his companion had gone. 

But Jack saw a note placed on top of the neatly made bedspread. He picked it up and saw Mark’s even messier handwriting sprawled across.

_Sorry I had to leave, I got called into work early today, I’m so sorry. You sounded so good playing the drums that I didn’t want to disturb you. But come visit me, maybe? Or text me if you’d like._

__

__

_Thanks for last night._

_Sincerely,  
Mark_

Jack smiled at the thoughtful note. While Mark had slept in Jack’s bed last night (Jack insisted), and Jack slept on the couch, it made his heart melt thinking about it. They had been watching movies for too long last night and it had gotten late. It was surprising because it wasn’t Mark who had asked Jack to stay, it was the other way around.

He traced the happy face Mark had drawn after his signature and Jack couldn’t help but feel warm inside again. 

It had been so long since he had felt such warmth. 

Jack clutched the note to his chest. 

Nothing had happened at all last night other than sitting close to each other and discussing details about the movies they were watching, and they had even slept apart. Yet, right now, it was exactly what Jack needed.

It felt so great right now. 


	5. Fall

Things weren’t always smooth. In fact, sometimes they were absolutely horrible.

Jack could feel his heart pounding so hard in his chest that it felt like he could almost see it from the outside. His eyes were puffy and the same old darkness crept up behind him, familiar company that while hadn’t visited in a long while, still felt like just yesterday. 

Mark had left just moments prior but the memory of his hurt expression burned on the back of Jack’s eyelids. He couldn’t believe that he had been left. Again.

Jack had gotten a message from Felix a week ago and Mark naturally had asked who Felix was when he had seen the name pop up on Jack’s phone. It wasn’t in a controlling manner nor was it in a jealous one. Just natural curiosity of the boyfriend of a few months. Jack didn’t want to lie and explained which Mark took well and was very understanding.

But when Mark had found out that Jack had been responding behind his back and that they had been talking for weeks, he was not happy at all. Jack felt terrible and he knew it was his fault, but did Mark not understand that Felix was all Jack breathed for so many years? Felix was the first love of his life and they had such a deep, personal history. He reminded Mark that Felix was the one who messaged him first. Mark reminded Jack that he didn’t have to carry a conversation for weeks and hide it from him.

Mark didn’t ask to see any of the text messages exchanged between the old lovers. He didn’t ask how many there were or what was even discussed. He didn’t even ask if Jack had informed Felix that they had been dating. Mark didn’t ask if Marzia knew.

When Jack confessed to him after a suspicious accusation was thrown his way, Mark looked devastated. Jack understood why he would be upset, but as he had mentioned before, didn’t Mark understand their past history? 

But Mark said he wanted to nip it now. He didn’t want to be with someone who clearly still had feelings for an old lover and who lied to him for weeks. Jack swore up and down that there were no feelings for Felix anymore, he just sometimes… missed him. 

Mark was not too happy with that answer and concluded for the both of them that Jack still needed to work on moving on from his past relationship. Jack didn’t see it. It was just friendly chit-chat about the old days. 

But before Mark left Jack’s apartment with his toothbrush, a few items of clothing he left here when he would occasionally spend the night, and his dignity, Mark reminded Jack that if it was just friendly chatter, Jack wouldn’t have felt the need to hide it. Hiding and then fibbing about it meant he knew he shouldn’t have done it. 

Yet Jack chose to conceal it all. 

And Mark had left promptly after that. Jack had been laying on his bed, one hand grasping desperately at the comforter he was laying on, the other arm covering his eyes as he finally let the tears fall. 

Why did he have to ruin everything he touched?

Why did everything have to be so horrible?


	6. Upward

Maybe Jack couldn’t predict how things would go in his life like he thought he could.

Jack was sitting down on the bench in the park downtown. It was winter again, his breath clouding in front of him with each sigh. It was much colder than he had anticipated. They were in the heart of winter now and even though he had dressed warmly for a stroll out in the park, it didn’t feel like enough. The frosty air nipped at his cheeks. 

He turned his head and looked at the town’s Christmas tree set up in the center. It was beautiful and he felt himself smiling at it. He pulled his sleeve up a bit and checked his watch. It was almost eight o’clock in the morning. He didn’t have to be at work until noon which he was thankful for. 

Jack always tried to make time for his morning strolls if possible. They always seemed to brighten his mood no matter how terrible he was feeling. Strolls in the morning, drumming in the evening. 

As Jack glanced away from the tree and focused his gaze elsewhere, a voice spoke behind him, catching him off guard. 

It had been a while.

Jack turned around and was met face to face with Mark, the beautiful music shop employee he had only dated for a few months. It was alarming to see him. He had a stronger stubble look and had definitely gotten more toned since Jack had seen him last. Mark had been doing well from what it seemed. That made Jack happy.

They greeted each other, Mark’s hands shoved deep in his pockets, as he continued to stand behind the bench as Jack turned his body to face him.

Mark asked how things were going and Jack wasn’t sure how to answer. It seemed so… empty. Or was he just as nervous as Jack felt?

Jack responded saying it had been pretty much the same— not much really changed over the span of a couple months for him if he were to be honest. He had visited home in Ireland for a few days but that would be about it. 

Mark said that he had gotten promoted at the music store and was now store manager so he worked a lot while he had returned to school. He had even begun working out. 

It was refreshing to see such a familiar face and one he had such fond memories of. Mark was who lit a burning flame in him when he felt so lost and empty. He had missed him.

Mark smiled briefly and Jack asked why he had been smiling. 

Jack’s cheeks turned a bright shade of red when he realized he had admitted to missing him out loud. It must have just slipped out when he was deep in thought and he felt pretty embarrassed about it.

But Mark pushed his glasses up on his face and found himself looking at the Christmas tree as well. 

Mark noted that it was absolutely beautiful and Jack smiled at the same old husky voice. 

Jack agreed, his voice slightly quivering as he spoke this time. Jack noted that they didn’t have a tree put up last year. It must’ve been added this Christmastime. 

Mark nodded, confirming that this tree was indeed new. 

A silence fell between them. Jack wasn’t sure if it was awkward or if it was just… there. But when Mark took a deep breath and smiled at Jack, Jack felt himself relax. 

He even moved over when Mark took a seat next to him on the bench, the familiar presence bringing a happy grin to Jack’s face as he watched their breath mix into clouds while they talked, Mark’s voice never once hinting at any sort of anger.

Jack realized it had been one year ago that he visited this very park for the first time. He was such a cloud of misery and darkness, yet here he was, sitting and enjoying himself and now. He advanced his drumming skills and learned how to be single. He learned how to be independent, and looking at Mark before him, he learned how to not be afraid to want something. He wasn’t scared this time like he was when he first met Mark and this time, it was Jack who nervously asked for a date. Mark was silently surprised and Jack found himself laughing when he realized their positions were switched. 

Things were so different now. Things had changed.

Maybe not being able to predict everything wasn’t a bad thing.


End file.
